The story of the jellyfish sting

There once was a girl who got up early every morning to sit on the beach and read a book. Okay...she probably wasn't considered a girl by most since she was 31 but in her head she was a girl. She woke up when she wasn't tired and didn't allow the clock to tell her to get up. In fact, she didn't even look at the clock when she woke up. There was no clock nearby. She simply asked herself if she was tired. If not, she woke up and smiled. Nothing on the schedule today. She was on VACATION.

She would use the bathroom, tie up her unbrushed hair and threw on her vintage 1950's-like swimsuit she found at the thrift for $3. A yoga skirt and an oversized t-shirt went on over it and she was done. The girl grabbed a beach chair, a book and a granola bar and went to meet the beach outside her door.

This happened day after day until one day the girl realized that jelly fish were washing up on the beach. They were everywhere and it was more than a bit startling that they just dotted the sea shore. HER sea shore. How dare these jelly fish wash up on the shore where she would have to step over them to set up her beach chair.

Plus, the fact that they were on the beach meant they were in the water at one point. And following that reason, some would still be in the water. Ugh. The girl hated the fact that when she would swim she would be swimming with creatures. Gross creatures that reminded her of Jell-o and jam and yogurt and everyone who knew the girl knew that she detested any food product that moved when you touched it.

After finding these jelly creatures, the girl would carefully set up her chair and enjoy the morning sun for an hour or so. She didn't want to burn so she never spent more than an hour out in the sun without sunscreen. (Her mother taught her that when she was young and it had stuck with her.)

Afterwards she would work her way back to the vacation rental and usually her husband would be awake. His body had a different schedule. Whereas hers would go to bed early and awake after a solid 8 or 9 hours sleep, his kept him up at night until crazy hours. He called himself a "night owl" and she titled herself an early riser.

They would spend time together and then go down to the beach together. They would set up their newly purchased tent and blow up their beach floats and enter the water. The girl had told her husband about the jelly fish. But being a boy, he didn't care. Boys are of a more sturdy stock than girls and that was especially true of this girl. She cared to think of herself as delicately strong. But the truth is that she probably was just an average girl with the average sense of worry. Or perhaps more than an average sense of worry if we are being completely honest.

On this particular day they entered the water and found it to be cold. Possibly bordering on frigid. But this was their vacation and by golly they were going to swim.

After a few minutes they forgot about the temperature of the water and were having a grand time. An upcoming thunderstorm was creating waves and they were using their inflatable floats to jump the waves.

Suddenly out of no where the girl felt little bolts of pain in her upper thigh and at the same time something was wrapping itself around her. Without thinking the girl pulled at the object and was able to detach it from herself. She called to her husband that she had been stung by a jelly fish and to get her float.

She quickly got out of the water and walked over to the chair under the tent. Just the other day in a magazine she had heard about a way to lessen the pain of a jellyfish sting. It was completely coincidental that an older issue of Oprah magazine was left behind from the previous rentals of their beach condo. One of the articles stated to use vinegar to soak the sting. If you didn't have vinegar, you could also use soda.

Amazingly enough the couple had an extra can of diet Coke with them (they had already eaten and had used up almost everything else they brought) and the husband lovingly poured the soda over the girl's leg. He then used their room key card to rub the stingers out of the leg.

The girl sat for a few minutes and was in a bit of pain. Thankfully it was nothing serious and thankfully the pain was quickly subsiding. By the time they got back to their condo the leg felt much better and there was only a few little red spots.

Will the girl go back out into the Gulf of Mexico tomorrow? You bet! How could she let such a small thing ruin her much needed vacation? And if you looked at it the right way (as she almost always did) she was intruding on the jelly fish's home and it was simply protecting itself.