A long time ago I was an egg donor for a wonderful family in Boston. Yes, that couple did have a baby boy but this story is about me. When the doctor went into to gather the eggs, they nicked part of me. They didn't realize it.
After the egg donation, we went back to the hotel. I blacked out and my husband brought me to the ER. I was there for 3 days. I bled internally for 3 days. The Boston hospital missed the bleeding.
My husband and I flew back to PA. We didn't realize I was still bleeding. I felt miserable the entire time. He brought me to the local hospital the night we returned. The doctor gave me two choices: have surgery or go home and wait. He also didn't realize I was bleeding internally.
Because I was in such pain, I chose surgery. It saved my life.
I was in the hospital for a total of 10 days. They removed my fallopian tube and ovary. I went home after those 10 days and was completely exhausted. It hurt to breathe. I remember my mom trying to get me to eat a bit of toast. I remember sleeping on the couch and my husband sleeping on the floor next to me.
One of the things that stands out was a specialist that told me a day would come and I would start to feel better. He called it "magic day". He said it would come around that I felt more good than bad. It took me months to recover. But he was right.
Today was magic day. No, I am not healing from a major surgery. I was "simply" withdrawing from pain meds. Today is day 9 off Fentanyl patches and day 5 off of Percocet.
I was prescribed these meds by my doctor. They were given to me for a legitimate condition that still exists. I would love to say that God healed me physically. That would not be true.
Do I believe I was "sinning" by taking pain medicine? No. Do I believe that YOU should go cold turkey off your medicine? Absolutely not. I would not recommend this to anyone.
I had a lot of help. There was the ER doctor on Monday and my family doctor on Tuesday. There was my husband who put me in the bath twice and watched me cry a lot. There were hundreds of people praying for me.
And of course, most importantly, there is God. I am a Christian. It is not a religion to me. It is not being a "good person". It is not about going to church or reading the Bible. All of those things are great. But they are not going to get you to heaven.
Being a Christian is a hard thing. Being a Christian is not always "magic day". Being a Christian doesn't mean that God will allow you to have a great job, a great car, a loving spouse or even good health.
People starve every day. People die of terrible diseases every day. People are born into poverty every day. They don't choose it. I didn't choose to be born into my family. I didn't choose to be born into a country that doesn't beat you for worshiping God.
I have friends that are extremely poor. I have friends that have terrible ailments. I have friends that were abused. These are people. Would I love them to see God in me? Absolutely. But I must ask myself what I am doing to show God's love. Am I any different than anyone else? I pray so.
Thank you to everyone who thought of me these last 9 days. I got so many emails and I appreciate every one. I hope to write back to each of you soon.