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I have always hated brushing my teeth. My mom can attest to this by telling you that when I was younger she had to sit on me to brush my teeth. To this day I still cannot watch someone on TV or in real life brush their teeth. It is one of my many issues and gives me chills when I see it.
I have great health insurance and this means they will cover 100% of getting my teeth cleaned twice a year. So today was dentist day.
I start way in advance to prepare. I call the dentist and make sure my prescription is called into the local pharmacy. I take something called Triazolam which makes me a bit loopy and helps calm me down. Depending on how bad I am feeling before the appointment I can take 1 or 2 pills. Today was a 2 pill day. My stomach this morning before the appointment was sick. I tell myself they are only cleaning my teeth - something I do regularly. But the noise is different at the dentist.
It is the scraping of the metal pick against my teeth. Ugh. That sound is enough to turn my stomach.
So the pills help me not freak out. I took two an hour before my appointment and I felt pretty darn good when I got there. I remember being calmer and not moving around too much. The dental assistant said my teeth are very healthy. I truly floss 2x a day and brush regularly so this is good. I just cannot look at myself in the mirror when I brush since it would creep me out.
My hubby is so good to go with me because after the appointment I am done for the day. The pills kick in and I sleep for hours on end. It is a peaceful deep sleep. Today I got back from the dentist around 1pm and I was asleep until 7:30pm. Even now at 9pm I am still feeling tired and think I will go back to bed shortly.
I found out some not good news about my lovely dentist today. We may not be able to use him at the end of the year since my health care is switching to a new dental plan. This makes me very nervous. This dentist already knows my issues and doesn't think twice to call me in my prescription. Another dentist may have to first see how I freak out before doing this because they wouldn't believe me.
We will see how this all works out. It may be a moot point if I have to go to jail since I murdered the rooster that is still crowing at 9:30 at night. I wonder how jail dentists are?
The people that live next door have a small property that is overrun with clutter, broken down cars (about 10 of them), clothes lines strung off random objects, a shed that is only 1/2 built and has been 1/2 built for weeks, a pool that is sitting in a heap instead of full of water and a TON of kid's toys that the kids never seem to play with.
But the one thing that bothers me worse than the terrible view is the rooster. There are actually two roosters and a bunch of chickens that run around outside of their coop. One rooster in particular (let us call him Dead Meat) crows every 30 seconds or so. Literally every 30 seconds. I hear him at 3am, I hear him at 9pm. I don't know when Dead Meat sleeps.
I have timed Dead Meat and occasionally he goes more than a minute without a crow. But sometimes it is closer to 10 seconds. What in the world is wrong with the stupid animal that it cannot shut up? Of course it isn't the roosters fault.
How are the owners that live in the house dealing with the rooster since he is so much closer to them then me? How are they sleeping? I am barely staying asleep with my a/c running all night and a white noise machine. I think I may have robots as neighbors since clearly no one would be able to sleep through this.
As I am typing this, Dead Meat is still crowing...and crowing...and crowing. Did you know they have an "eHow" on how to stop a rooster from crowing? Here is what they say.
1. Catch the rooster. Clearly the neighbors would be wondering what I was doing trying to catch a rooster and so I would probably have to wear black (I have the cutest black shoes and they have great traction so this may work) and sneak on their property at night. Supposedly while they are sleeping through the crowing. The step continues with "place 1 or 2 other hens in the coop to encourage the rooster to cooperate". Okay, so now I need a few hens. This may get expensive depending on how costly hens are. And the neighbors built a coop that doesn't close so Dead Meat could get out at any time.
2. So supposedly after I wear black, sneak into the neighbors yard carrying two hens (can you put hens in Trader Joes bags?) I now have to Place the rooster into a low coop for the night, with roosts going up at least one side that resemble a ladder. And then I have to put a tarp over the coop to blacken it completely. I am now going to have to carry two hens and a tarp. I believe the neighbors may realize there is a tarp over the chicken coop. Of course I could be wrong since the yard is so cluttered they may not realize it. And how am I to not allow light into a poorly constructed coop when it is August and we get so much sun?
That is the big advice I get from eHow. There was a great comment posted by a lady named Sandi which gave me a chuckle. It stated to just chop off the rooster's head. Which truly could be the possible solution for Dead Meat. For some reason I think I may just have to live with the crowing until I can phys myself enough to kill the rooster.
(Disclaimer: for those of you who don't know me, I apologize every time I kill an ant and I don't have it in me to kill anything bigger than an ant so there is no chance of me murdering the world's most annoying rooster. But don't think I am not thinking of it every time the rooster wakes me up.)
